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Clutter & Trauma

Image by chenspec on Pixabay.

I had a really bad day on Monday where I reached the limit. I realized that I wasn't always struggling with my home like this. I used to be able to clean a whole house in a day. In fact, once upon a time it was my usual Wednesday when I worked part time.

One of my challenges in decluttering has been that I wasn't being honest with myself. I think I've been putting off cleaning up for a long time in order to keep people away.

By not letting anyone get that close to me, I don't risk being hurt again. But the thing is, I don't let love in either then. I just get to be lonely and to wish things were different.

And the people who hurt me in the past get to continue haunting my present and future like sadistic ghosts.

Well, no more of that.

I deserve a clean home for me. 

And I don't have to let someone come over just because it's clean. Silly brain. I don't need a physical boundary that just makes my own day-to-day more difficult.

I deserve the other kind of boundaries and love.

After coming to this realization, I was able to do so much in one day that I previously couldn't find the energy to manage over many months. 

Here's to unfucking my habitat!


Please check out my digital to-do list: https://trello.com/b/RM8yD3eq/rae-roy-general

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