Skip to main content

Hello Again

I've reached a curious point in my life. One where I feel like I know less than I ever have before. One where I've realized the best brother is Sam Winchester.

What have I been up to lately? Well, I've been continuing my goals for decluttering. Part of this has me building a coffee table out of crates. There are some things I need that don't have a home and I couldn't find what I want at IKEA. Also, given the current state of things, I didn't really want to go there anyway. Also, a friend had trouble with a desk order for her little one's birthday, so I'm not in a hurry to have anything to do with them right now. I have one crate of four completed. There is a lot of work ahead, but I feel motivated.

I've also been working on my current screenplay. I've found it helpful to go back to the planning stages and rework things as I made a major change to which character would be the main character and it is fundamentally changing the story. As it should, of course. I'm much more excited about this new idea. But I needed to go back to the planning and stop looking at the actual words I have so far because what I have doesn't match what I need it to be. Maybe I should start a new copy of the file entirely as it's a bit frustrating trying to let go of what came before while it's staring at me on the page...

Maybe that is all a metaphor for the future. All we know for sure is right now. Is that a bit unstable? Sure. But it means in some ways, I find myself living more than ever before.

I have also figured out some things in the spiritual sense and that has brought me a calm that nothing else has in recent years. I'm not going to go into all of that, but I'm happier than I have been in a long time. 

In my 39th year, I finally feel like I've figured out who I am and what I want. I think this has been part of the reason I haven't been able to find that person who gets me. Who could possibly if I don't get myself?

There may be a lot of problems in 2020, but I think I'm far from the only person who has found this extra time to be helpful and even healing.

Cheers to whatever comes next.

R~
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

2020 Vision

Mostly, I’ve been planning for the new year, but I discovered I know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a recollection under the influence that brought this to light. I also discovered I still suck at drawing, but I’m okay with that. I used to think I had to be good at everything, and I’ve realized that’s just not so. Some friends and I recently hit up a local board game pub. It was a pretty fun night. The first game was Balderdash and I was terrible at it. Because I was the writer in the group, some of my friends thought I should be more embarrassed about it and hide the fact that I don’t spend all my free time learning advanced vocabulary. But I’m not upset about it. Why? Two reasons: 1. I now know what I don’t know. 2. If one takes a close look at the top selling novels on the market, the level of the language used is not the level of many of the words in Balderdash. Not that I’m comparing my own work to those, but audience is what matters in writing. To me, it is far better to e...
Read more

Fortifying Friday - Rejection

Yesterday, I received my first rejection from an agent. It stung. It wasn't that it was bad. It was worded in a way that it may have even been personally written. Regardless, rejection never feels good unless you were secretly hoping to stay home and do nothing when a friend made plans with you. Then it feels great! I might be an introvert ;) Anyway, it hurts a bit extra when you have other things going on. Between the worries of the state of the world and being unemployed, it felt much like being kicked while I was already down. The agent said she couldn't connect with my book though she really wanted to. She also said not to take her rejection as any kind of sign that I should give up. It was nice as far as rejections go. So, I lay there for a bit. Then I let my friends know via social media. Several said that I had hit a milestone and I should try to collect as many as possible this year. Rejections, they said, were a badge of honour awarded for putting myself out there. See...
Read more

Thoughtful Thursday - Dental Access

I haven't made use of it yet as I discovered it only this week, but there are free dental screenings in Ottawa for people who have a low income. I'm not sure what happens at these things, but I imagine they're rather like the once or twice yearly visits we had in grade school from the health unit where they checked our teeth. Anyway, I thought I'd mention that in case anyone is in need. There is a schedule with the locations listed and I'm guessing it's hard to get there early enough to get seen, but I'll check it out soon. I've been using dental products that are supposed to repair and whiten. I'm unsure they are working, but I figured they were worth a try. Also, I hear if you add activated charcoal to your toothbrush before the toothpaste, it helps whiten too. It makes a hell of a mess, but I tried it. I think it might take a while to whiten, but my teeth are definitely cleaner, so I think it really does help with plaque. Activated charcoal is als...
Read more