Skip to main content

Symphonic Saturday - We All Have Struggles

music1I have days where I'm really not feeling remotely happy. Where it's so damn hard to see the positive. I'm a divorced, unemployed woman with food allergies and an autoimmune condition. Sometimes it's REALLY damn hard to smile.

And this week in particular has been hard. I had several days where I could barely walk because the ankle I hurt multiple times back in my roller derby days was upset between the dancing and martial arts on the weekend and the two days of dismal weather that followed. Pain killers didn't help. I also didn't have the spare cash to do anything even if my ankle wasn't tempting me to request amputation. The only thing I managed to do was buy an inexpensive cane because the golf club I was using to hobble around the house with looked ready to break if it kept bending that way.

Then I had a frustrating day where I questioned my ability to write anything at all, especially movies, because Imposter Syndrome is part of being an artist. And songs. Where the hell am I going to learn how to add drum beats into my songs? Is there free software for that? I don't even know how to use the audio software I have. Would a whole album of guitar only songs be boring?

I also fought with one of my kitchen drawers. I'm at the point where I'm just going to turn the inserts upside down and put something inside the drawers because I want my house back together, I don't have the money for other options, and I'm just so tired of this project. Once I locate my drill, I can charge it and finish drawer one of three. It's taken me several months to fix one drawer. And it's not because I'm not handy, but because everything I've tried didn't work the way it was supposed to.

But music nearly always makes me feel better.

Seeing this video of a deaf woman named Mandy Harvey having taught herself to sing again after losing her hearing was exactly what I needed to help me continue to plug away at my own goals. It also reminded me of our one-legged swordsman who taught himself how to do kendo, iaido, and jodo again after an accident took his leg. He's one of the best I know.

Anyway, I'm going to get my house clean, get this sewing business going, do martial arts, and continue with my writing movies, books, and songs no matter how hard life currently is.

But first, I'm going to take in a panel about music at Prose in the Park and enjoy some classic Batman clips to say goodbye to my first Batman.

Salut,
R~
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

2020 Vision

Mostly, I’ve been planning for the new year, but I discovered I know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a recollection under the influence that brought this to light. I also discovered I still suck at drawing, but I’m okay with that. I used to think I had to be good at everything, and I’ve realized that’s just not so. Some friends and I recently hit up a local board game pub. It was a pretty fun night. The first game was Balderdash and I was terrible at it. Because I was the writer in the group, some of my friends thought I should be more embarrassed about it and hide the fact that I don’t spend all my free time learning advanced vocabulary. But I’m not upset about it. Why? Two reasons: 1. I now know what I don’t know. 2. If one takes a close look at the top selling novels on the market, the level of the language used is not the level of many of the words in Balderdash. Not that I’m comparing my own work to those, but audience is what matters in writing. To me, it is far better to e...
Read more

Fortifying Friday - Rejection

Yesterday, I received my first rejection from an agent. It stung. It wasn't that it was bad. It was worded in a way that it may have even been personally written. Regardless, rejection never feels good unless you were secretly hoping to stay home and do nothing when a friend made plans with you. Then it feels great! I might be an introvert ;) Anyway, it hurts a bit extra when you have other things going on. Between the worries of the state of the world and being unemployed, it felt much like being kicked while I was already down. The agent said she couldn't connect with my book though she really wanted to. She also said not to take her rejection as any kind of sign that I should give up. It was nice as far as rejections go. So, I lay there for a bit. Then I let my friends know via social media. Several said that I had hit a milestone and I should try to collect as many as possible this year. Rejections, they said, were a badge of honour awarded for putting myself out there. See...
Read more

Thoughtful Thursday - Dental Access

I haven't made use of it yet as I discovered it only this week, but there are free dental screenings in Ottawa for people who have a low income. I'm not sure what happens at these things, but I imagine they're rather like the once or twice yearly visits we had in grade school from the health unit where they checked our teeth. Anyway, I thought I'd mention that in case anyone is in need. There is a schedule with the locations listed and I'm guessing it's hard to get there early enough to get seen, but I'll check it out soon. I've been using dental products that are supposed to repair and whiten. I'm unsure they are working, but I figured they were worth a try. Also, I hear if you add activated charcoal to your toothbrush before the toothpaste, it helps whiten too. It makes a hell of a mess, but I tried it. I think it might take a while to whiten, but my teeth are definitely cleaner, so I think it really does help with plaque. Activated charcoal is als...
Read more