Rae Roy

Today I rejoined the office worker lifestyle. It has been two years since I last worked for someone else, so it was quite a big day for me. First days are often a mixed bag emotionally. Things I felt today: 1. Anxiety: No matter how much I tried to prepare yesterday, there was always something this morning of that didn't go the way it should. 2. Eagerness: I was ready and raring to jump in and get things done. 3. Frustration: Some things weren't quite set up for me yet, so I couldn't do all the things that are part of my role. That's a typical first day thing. 4. Tiredness: I tried taking a brief nap after work, but no go. It's always a challenge to switch from the #writer schedule to a regular one... 5. Happy: The people were really nice and I'm grateful to be part of a wonderful group of people. 6. Sore: I have a little blister on my one heel, but thankfully I was smart enough to pack large bandaids, so it's not nearly as bad as it could be. 7. Relief: It...

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] So I didn't know what to write about today. I've been a little busy to think about sex at all. Then I came across this article about a man who tricked women into having sex with him. The catch? He doesn't have a penis. You might be wondering how they didn't notice. Well, he never let them see him naked. They always did in in the dark and otherwise they could only touch him with his clothes on. And he used objects to penetrate them. The objects weren't comfortable for the women most times. They said it hurt to have sex with them and just figured he didn't know what he was doing. As you might expect, he's now on the Sex Offender Registry. Why? Because they consented to having sex, not penetration with an object. Anyway, I'm thinking things could've gone so differently. Instead of outright lying like that, he could've g...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Natsu Matsuri 2018 It was a soggy day, so the event was moved inside this year. Though it was a little more cozy in the smaller space, it was a success. My dojo was the opening group of performers and I was leading my portion, which was scary. I can't recall if I ever heard my sword, or if my heart was simply beating too loud to hear it. Because we were first up, I got to relax and enjoy most of the day. The booming drums of Oto-wa Taiko were even more amazing than usual. The dancing was more difficult to participate in as it became very challenging to figure out who actually knew the dance you were supposed to follow along with. I didn't buy much for food as most items had ingredients I couldn't have or all Japanese labels where I couldn't tell what I might be eating. Training in July I always struggle with martial arts in July. It gets to...

I missed Shark Week :'( Well, maybe not entirely if my B-Movie Club goes with something shark related... Okay, so I failed on that, but other things are progressing nicely. I've been boxing up my books and I'm going through the worst of the declutter effort right now. I decided all my books will live in my living room except those I'm actively reading. This is going to clean up my bedroom and let me repurpose the bookshelves in there for my music related goals and equipment. As soon as I can afford to, I plan to get two nicer all wood book shelves for the living room. They'll be tall and on the narrow side. I'm basically cleaning my whole condo out at one time. It's a lot. Some days I feel overwhelmed. Mostly, each step brings me closer to what I want. I've reached page 10 on my second feature. I'm planning to tweak my first one then send it out to someone I know. I got some ideas about my novel recently, so I'm glad I'm not quite through the...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] I'm taking a self-directed literary course to improve a certain aspect of my writing. It brings up the continual battle between writers who want to portray the world realistically as it currently is versus writers who want to portray the world as they would like it to be. This has been going on for more than a century actually. It's an idea that I think bleeds into everything else. It may even be one of the reasons why so many are quick to believe fake news over scary truths. In terms of martial arts, the battle is often between those who practice more theoretical arts versus those who practice more sport style with competitions that regularly test your mettle, though not as they would have hundreds of years ago. In the old days, death was a common outcome for the weaker party. Many of the writers I know hope to change the world by writing it as it...

I watched one of those 60-second documentaries on Facebook today during a writing break. It was about a 77-year-old ballet dancer named Mrs. Poole. She talked about how ballet isn't easy, but has to look it. It takes a lot of discipline and it's a lovely feeling to work hard, but enjoy it. Gee, what else have I heard this about? Writing? Yep. Martial arts? Yep! Music? For sure. It's almost like everything worthwhile in life requires hard work or something. I'm reading Ed Sheeran's book right now where he says he grew up with virtually no TV or video games and devoted his time to learning the guitar. He sucked at school, but he and his dad went to tons of concerts and he listened to a lot of different artists. He was terrified to do his first ever performance, but it went well, so that encouraged him to continue. Had it went bad, I guess we wouldn't have Ed to listen to now? It seems like everyone who gets anywhere has to put a lot of work in and has to sacrifice...

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] It's Friday the 13th. I can't remember if I ever saw the first Friday the 13th movie before or not. So far it seems more about making out and sex than it does about the slasher. Bum grabs, moaning... Older movies are always fun because you get to see how much things have changed and how much they haven't. To me, it seems the sex is less graphic, but more passionate. I've seen way more funny sex scenes in horror films as of late than I have seen serious ones. Oh, there's the killing. It was just a semi-slow build up. In Friday the 13th (1980), it really pulls you in the different directions. One minute it's a fairly steamy moment and the next it's horrifying and bloody. I'm off to enjoy this classic horror film. Have a good weekend! R~

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] My life is in a hurry up and wait stage. I'm waiting on my debit card for my personal bank account to come. It seems I can't deposit my HST credit cheque into it until it's here. I have a meeting later today about my self-employment related account, so at least I'll hopefully be able to get some other things moving. I have to go to a different branch because the one I was supposed to go to is having server issues today. Of course. This is my life right now. At least the other location isn't far. When I started writing this post last night, I was also waiting to hear the next step for work. A couple of days ago, I had been told there was some sort of form to fill out, but I hadn't received it yet. This morning I found the link to put in my details for a background check. It was a little longer for me to fill out because I have severa...

I've had a rough time lately. That job turned out to be fake. I lost money I couldn't afford. My fears of losing my home and ending up homeless became an even bigger reality. Luckily, I got another real job that will be starting in a couple of weeks! In the meantime, the experience has encouraged me to put some things in motion, like furthering my decluttering efforts. What I realized is that it was silly I was waiting so long to do some things like setting up an online store for my books. My goals are going to change slightly now that I've been through this experience. 1. Finances - Acquire two new chequing accounts that come with free savings accounts. - Pay off my credit card. - Pay off the remaining amount of the fake cheque. - Pay off the last bit of my car loan. - Pay off my student loan - Continue doing self-employment activities on the side. 2. Home - New writing space in my living room. - Finish painting the living room. - Musical instruments moved to my bedroom wh...

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Well, it takes a bit of strength to last through all the B.S. I've faced this week, but I'm in much better spirits. Perhaps I'll elaborate on that next week. Friends who read this, know what has been up. Anyway, suffice it to say I had a lot of things to deal with because the job turned out to be a scam. But there is a silver lining because a real job is happening soon. Lasting power is something usually men are worried about, at least if movies and TV are to be believed. This may be a newsflash, but I've heard some women say they arrive long before their male partner. This tends to happen more as men age. I even know some men who have difficulty arriving at all as they get older. Not intimately, just at a conversational level. Why is it a big deal? Well, many people seem to feel like if they don't ensure their partner gets there relati...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Life has been a battlefield for me for quite some time. I thought things would be good after my divorce and moving to a new city for a good job. And it was. For a time. Until I was laid off and my position, along with a chunk of my department, was abolished. So, I riskily spent my remaining assets on the parts of a graduate studies certificate in Scriptwriting because there was at least partially free tuition and I was hating my work. I didn't feel bad making use of the free tuition as I had been paying taxes for nearly 20 years. Why Scriptwriting? Well, I already know how to write novels and while I could be better at short stories, I've at least gotten a couple of those published. Movies are a love of mine and it seemed hard to teach myself the basics, plus there was the benefit of making industry connections. But since school ended in April, I...

Today is Canada Day! It's a pretty special day around here and though I don't usually post on Sundays, I am. But it isn't just the fact that it's Canada Day that made me want to post. I read an article where my friend was interviewed and that is what moved me. It's an article about Canada as an ideal vs the reality for many indigenous people . I've always been aware of some people disliking natives, but I've never understood it . Maybe it's because my own family would've been pretty screwed without them. I don't know the circumstances behind my own family living on a reserve when my mother was born over 70 years ago. It upsets me that I don't know. There are pieces of our history that have been scrubbed away. My mother was raised by her grandmother and her step grandfather after her real grandfather passed away. Her grandfather was from Scotland and her grandmother from Sweden. She was also raised by her mother, but believed her mother to be ...