On Saturday, I awoke around 7:00 AM without an alarm. I went on Facebook and for some reason, my aunt showed up in my suggested friends list. This was strange to me as last year I had tried to find her and some of my other relatives online without any success. Three hours later, my brother texted me to let me know my aunt had passed away. It would simply be a strange occurrence, if this type of thing hadn't happened to me on two other occasions. On those other occasions, before finding out that friend's fathers had died, I saw someone that looked exactly like them in a public place. Before I could say hi, the strangers disappeared.Yeah, I know what that sounds like.
One of my aunts is a registered clairvoyant. She's helped police solve cases.
I know what that sounds like too.
I also know scientists say there's no way ghosts can exist.
My grandma died in our house when I was 6. One day shortly after, I don't know exactly how many days after, both my brother and I heard our grandma open the china cabinet to get a tea cup as she always had, so we both rushed to the kitchen. He was in the basement, and I upstairs. We didn't see her, but it doesn't change that two of us heard the same sound at the same time.
My personal experience tells me that there is stuff out there that science cannot yet explain. In fact, science will currently say that the existence of ghosts is impossible while also holding to a model that suggests the same amount of energy is always around. I'm fully aware that others have different experiences and I have no right to impose my own beliefs on them.
The rest of Saturday was split between crying and trying to distract myself. I couldn't eat all of my supper because choking led to throwing up part of it. I was pretty scared and wondering if I was going to be done in by a piece of steak and some red wine. Later, I made a cookie and dropped half of it on the floor. I said screw it and picked up the wayward pieces of cookie and ate them anyway. Then, I watched TV because it was the safest course of action given how the rest of the day had played out.
What followed next was an editor letting me know that my proposal for an article was accepted. This was wonderful news despite having fewer days to write it because the email got lost somewhere in the cyber cosmos. I have much of it done, though the last two sections are difficult as they involve elements I'm not confident I've fully grasped myself, so who am I to be writing about such things. Ah, the imposter syndrome. What would any artist be without it?
At any rate, it's close to finished. Going to sleep on it and see if anything comes to mind tomorrow.
I wasn’t looking forward to French today. I had hardly practiced during our week away, I was tired, and the whole reason I took French was because the last time I saw my aunt and that part of my family I could barely communicate with them. Now my aunt is gone and I guess part of me feels like what is the point of it now. Yes, I know I live in Ottawa and being able to speak French is a good thing for future jobs, but I felt like giving up today and that isn’t something I do. We get another break around the 13th. I'm hoping to catch up on the homework soon.
Anyway, I need sleep. Maybe everything will look a little bit better tomorrow.
Salut,
R~