Skip to main content

Coming Fully Out - Part I

I'm on a much needed vacation. And I decided to reduce my technology use during it to really unwind. It's my brother's birthday week and he wanted me to come visit.

Image by depaulus on Pixabay

The only stress I have is that I haven't come out to my father yet as I'm worried how he'll react. He grew up in Catholicism in Northern Quebec in a tiny place that had about as many people as my high school did. He has occasionally said some  homophobic things in the past. One of my friends asked me awhile ago why I even feel the need to tell him about this part of myself and it's partly a yearning for him to know me better. It's also because one day I expect to have a woman in my life that I'll want to introduce to my family. I'd rather not wait until then because I don't want that hanging over the relationship. I don't think it's fair to the person. I also feel like I lost that chance with mom and don't want to lose it with dad too.

Part of what is stressing me out about it is just figuring out what to say. Like, I could just say I love women. I could try to be funny and make a joke about boobs like how I feel like a tit for not realizing it all sooner? I was at lesbian billiards the other day and at least I'm making friends who get this current struggle. I could mention that the funniest thing about lesbian billiards is that there are a bunch of women there who have no idea what do do with sticks and balls. I could just say that I'm gay and give him my copy of This Book is Gay. Or maybe I'll go with something along the lines of that I've spent life really trying to be straight, but I'm just not and it's time I get to be happy and fully enjoy life. Maybe the last one combined with the book is the way to go.

Timing is another thing to consider. If it goes badly, I won't want to hang around, so I'm thinking of leaving it until near the end of my trip. Part of me wants to get it done early though, so I can stop worrying about the outcome. 

Labels:
Location: North Bay, ON, Canada

Popular posts from this blog

2020 Vision

Mostly, I’ve been planning for the new year, but I discovered I know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a recollection under the influence that brought this to light. I also discovered I still suck at drawing, but I’m okay with that. I used to think I had to be good at everything, and I’ve realized that’s just not so. Some friends and I recently hit up a local board game pub. It was a pretty fun night. The first game was Balderdash and I was terrible at it. Because I was the writer in the group, some of my friends thought I should be more embarrassed about it and hide the fact that I don’t spend all my free time learning advanced vocabulary. But I’m not upset about it. Why? Two reasons: 1. I now know what I don’t know. 2. If one takes a close look at the top selling novels on the market, the level of the language used is not the level of many of the words in Balderdash. Not that I’m comparing my own work to those, but audience is what matters in writing. To me, it is far better to e...
Read more

Warrior Wednesday - Cross-training

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Martial arts are a great workout, but it can be easy to forget that we need to do other exercises to ensure total body fitness. That being said, it doesn't have to take a lot of time or be a miserable experience. One of my Iaido mentors, 8th Dan Hatekenaka Sensei, does hot yoga when she isn't practicing Iaido. She practices Iaido every day whether there is class or not. Now Iaido is great for many things. Swinging a sword about takes *some* strength, so it works the upper body. It's important to mention that we try to get a sword that is a reasonable weight. Many are only a couple of pounds because they are a giant razor and don't need to be heavy in order to cut things. Also, a light sword should be able to be swung as thought it were heavy and a heavy one as though it were light. It also is helpful to prevent repetitive strain injuries. W...
Read more

Change is in the Air

I've been making a lot of changes lately around my home and some of them might seem a little odd, but they're making me happy. One thing I've done is taken apart my dining table. I never eat in there or have people over to eat. It was just another horizontal surface that would collect things like receipts, odd screws from various projects, and countless piles of paper. I had been frustrated because of the clutter it encouraged, but also because I didn't have a space for my Yamaha keyboard. I had been trying to use my keyboard in the living room, but it felt too cluttered and it wasn't sitting at the right height. With it now in my dining room, I was able to relocate my storage bench, which happens to be the perfect height to sit at while playing my keyboard. I now have much more breathing room. There is still a lot of mess to handle here yet, but I'm making solid progress. A lot of people suggest the bedroom is the place to start when decluttering, but I haven...
Read more