Skip to main content

Review - Bust PTSD (Android)

[caption id="attachment_10613" align="alignright" width="302"]Bust PTSD Image from Google Play Store[/caption]

From helplines that you can call to talk to someone to free counselling services, there is free help available. Some free services only allow a couple of counselling sessions and they mostly exist to help you find the people who can help you more. I used one of those in the past and while I found the exercise of tallying up my strengths useful, it didn't help me deal with the pain of the past. Some offer upwards around 20 sessions. Some are targeted to specific needs like gambling, alcohol, and more.

It can be hard to get the right help when your issues have many layers like an onion that began growing again over a couple layers of old skin. To get to that middle layer of old skin that isn't nourishing, we have to go through many other layers first. After peeling away the initial dead layers that all onions have, we see some normal layers and they're fine; as an onion, they function. But then we come upon that older layer and we have to deal with it before we can get to the rest of the onion.

Healing from the past is like that.

Well, there is an app for that too. There are actually many options out there, but I want to talk about a specific one: Bust PTSD from CCEI Psychotherapy & Research Inc.

I had been really triggered lately. While getting to know someone new, past ghosts came back to haunt me. I realized I had some deep seated fears that I needed to deal with. The trouble is that sometimes doctors in this province spend more effort on not helping than they do on listening to the patient that is sitting in front of them.  Also, the need for referrals for almost anything is a pain in the ass. I think that's one thing we could do more like the US in terms of health care. Anyway, I digress.

My body is great at armouring itself. My shoulders turn to rock-like structures. My neck and jaw muscles become so tight that I barely know what truly smiling feels like. I'm never relaxed. That's my default state, or it was.

Bust PTSD helped me look at one of the numerous times I've suffered something traumatic and release the emotional pain I didn't know I was holding onto. I can be sad about the positive experiences I had with that person now and happy that my life has so much wonderful potential in it. I'm also better able to focus as my thoughts aren't a jumbled mess.

After making use of it, I felt relieved and giddy. I had a ton of energy. It was good I had martial arts to release it. Today, I'm still pretty relaxed and I'm tired. I feel like I have years of lost sleep to catch up on. But I'm not worried about it.

What I've learned is that it's really important to let yourself feel. It's scary, messy, and totally worth it. You can try and stuff your emotions down deep inside you, but they'll fester and cause you problems later on. For some people it is the root of digestive issues and autoimmune conditions.

The app cost me $8. Actually less because of Google Rewards. I only paid $2.43 out of my pocket. Pretty sweet deal. Totally worth the $8.

I'm looking forward to using it to deal with the rest of my past and perhaps my new default state will be a relaxed one. I've been stuck in fight or flight mode for far too long and all that stress isn't good.

I'm not just making use of this app though. I'm talking to people in Facebook groups and I'm trying to get into a real life support group because I believe in using a variety of tools when available.

I didn't expect it to be helpful. I even thought it was a little hokey when I was going through the instruction part, but I did what it said to and I'm really glad I found this app as I felt like I was turning into a moving statue. One can't live healthily in such a paradoxical state.

Salut,
R~

Popular posts from this blog

2020 Vision

Mostly, I’ve been planning for the new year, but I discovered I know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a recollection under the influence that brought this to light. I also discovered I still suck at drawing, but I’m okay with that. I used to think I had to be good at everything, and I’ve realized that’s just not so. Some friends and I recently hit up a local board game pub. It was a pretty fun night. The first game was Balderdash and I was terrible at it. Because I was the writer in the group, some of my friends thought I should be more embarrassed about it and hide the fact that I don’t spend all my free time learning advanced vocabulary. But I’m not upset about it. Why? Two reasons: 1. I now know what I don’t know. 2. If one takes a close look at the top selling novels on the market, the level of the language used is not the level of many of the words in Balderdash. Not that I’m comparing my own work to those, but audience is what matters in writing. To me, it is far better to e...

Fortifying Friday - Rejection

Yesterday, I received my first rejection from an agent. It stung. It wasn't that it was bad. It was worded in a way that it may have even been personally written. Regardless, rejection never feels good unless you were secretly hoping to stay home and do nothing when a friend made plans with you. Then it feels great! I might be an introvert ;) Anyway, it hurts a bit extra when you have other things going on. Between the worries of the state of the world and being unemployed, it felt much like being kicked while I was already down. The agent said she couldn't connect with my book though she really wanted to. She also said not to take her rejection as any kind of sign that I should give up. It was nice as far as rejections go. So, I lay there for a bit. Then I let my friends know via social media. Several said that I had hit a milestone and I should try to collect as many as possible this year. Rejections, they said, were a badge of honour awarded for putting myself out there. See...

Thoughtful Thursday - Dental Access

I haven't made use of it yet as I discovered it only this week, but there are free dental screenings in Ottawa for people who have a low income. I'm not sure what happens at these things, but I imagine they're rather like the once or twice yearly visits we had in grade school from the health unit where they checked our teeth. Anyway, I thought I'd mention that in case anyone is in need. There is a schedule with the locations listed and I'm guessing it's hard to get there early enough to get seen, but I'll check it out soon. I've been using dental products that are supposed to repair and whiten. I'm unsure they are working, but I figured they were worth a try. Also, I hear if you add activated charcoal to your toothbrush before the toothpaste, it helps whiten too. It makes a hell of a mess, but I tried it. I think it might take a while to whiten, but my teeth are definitely cleaner, so I think it really does help with plaque. Activated charcoal is als...